The Angry Beavers

Episode: Deranged Ranger

Jalapeño Bundt Cake

 I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that angry beavers are probably my spirit animals. (Get it? Limb. You know, trees?) Sorry about that. Anyhoo, those pointy weasel things do indeed lead a life not too different from mine. Norbert and Daggett are supposed to be responsible and basically adult-like, but they spend most of their time playing with toys, eating junk food, and staying up all night watching TV. Yep, same here. We can’t help it. We’re all just big kids. Oh, and in case you’re curious, I’m the Daggett Doofus Beaver of my house. I’m a big, klutzy, daddy longlegs hating baby who breaks things. My Norby Worby just so happens to be my little sister. She acts much older than I do and she’s crazy about hair and music. Also, she may have on occasion tricked me into doing things for her. All we need is a bunk bed and some Lickety-Splits and we’re the beaver dream team.

There’s just one thing we’re missing: jalapeños. The beavers’ food of choice. And what is the best way to wolf down those little peppers? By baking a jalapeño Bundt cake! With all the junk those boys scarf down, this cake has got to be the granddaddy of it all if Dag says it’s his favorite.

Ingredients

 Cake:

1 cup (4 large) jalapeños, plus any extras for garnishing

1 tablespoon butter

1 ½ cups (3 sticks) butter, room temperature

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, room temperature

3 cups sugar

6 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 cups sifted cake flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

½ tsp baking soda

Glaze

 3 tablespoons butter

2 cups sifted powdered sugar

2 tablespoons milk

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

Green food coloring

 

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a Bundt cake pan

Cake:

Cut jalapeños, clean out seeds and ribs, and finely chop. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a medium saucepan on medium heat. Cook down jalapenos until soft, about 10 minutes. Set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, combine cake flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda.

In a stand mixer, beat butter and cream cheese together. Add sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Add vanilla. Add dry ingredients in three additions, scraping down the sides of the bowl after each. Mix until just combined. Pour batter into greased Bundt cake pan. Smooth out and gently tap pan on counter to remove any air pockets. Bake for 60-75 minutes or until golden and a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool in pan for 15 minutes. Remove cake and let cool completely.

Glaze:

Melt butter in a saucepan or microwave. Add powdered sugar a little at a time. Mix in milk and vanilla. Add a little green food coloring. Adjust thickness to your liking. If it’s too thick, add more milk. If it turns out too thin, add more powdered sugar.

Putting It All Together:

Pour glaze over cooled cake. Place jalapeños on top to make it look pretty. Cut, serve, and enjoy!

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I guess there’s another thing I have in common with Dag. I love this cake! It would completely break my heart (and my teeth) if I tried to eat a giant jalapeño Bundt cake only to find out it’s made of cement. Well, I can’t say the same for my beaver brethren (Norb splattered batter on Dag’s booty in Mistaken Identity), but this cake will at least keep the two of us out of trouble. For now.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

 

 

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The Fairly OddParents

 

 

Episode: Snack Attack

Spark Tarts

 Fairy Godparents who grant just about any wish I ask for? Sign me up! Alas, I couldn’t get my own fairies because I had quite the happy childhood. (Stinks, right?) So I’ll just sit here and seethe with jealousy as I watch Timmy Turner adventure with the magical beings I so rightly deserve. Ew, I’m starting to remind myself of Mr. Crocker. Well, at least I’m not as bad asFAIRYGODPARENTSFAIRYGODPARENTSFAIRYGODPARENTS!!!!! Ouch. Maybe I spoke too soon.

Come on. Timmy even has a fairy dog who bakes! I love my dog and wouldn’t trade her for all the magic in Fairy World, but she’d rather steal my food than make some herself. Sparky, on the other hand, makes “magically delicious” dog treats that are so addictive that Timmy’s Dad ate a million of them. I don’t know about dog treats, but I do have something that might do the trick.

Recipe makes roughly 15 spark tarts. It can vary by the size of cookie cutter used. Mine were stubby!

 Ingredients

2 ¼ cups flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup butter flavored shortening

¾ cup sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon vanilla

3 tablespoons milk

1 egg, plus 1 tablespoon of milk for egg wash

turbinado/raw sugar or additional white granulated sugar – Optional, but it makes it sparkly!

 

Directions

 Combine flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl. In a stand mixer, cream together shortening and sugar on medium speed. Reduce the speed to low and add the egg and vanilla. Add the flour mixture a little at a time, alternating with the milk. Remove dough from stand mixer and flatten into a disk. Wrap in plastic and chill for 1 hour or until firm.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Roll the dough out to a thickness of 1/4 an inch. Have some flour on hand because the dough will start to get sticky as it warms up. Cut out shapes with a doggy bone cookie cutter and place on parchment-lined baking sheets. Roll out scraps and cut out shapes until you run out of dough. Chill Spark Tarts for 15 minutes to help them retain their shapes while baking.

Make an egg wash by whisking together one egg and a tablespoon of milk. Brush the Spark Tarts with the egg wash and dust with sugar. Bake for 25 minutes or until the edges begin to brown. Remove and transfer to a cooling rack. Then stuff your face!

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These Spark Tarts are pretty yummy with a nice, big glass of milk, even without the secret ingredient. I didn’t have any fairy dust on hand, but if you have some lying around, feel free to add it. I probably could eat a million Spark Tarts, but the only thing I’d wish for afterwards would be to have my stomach pumped.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

 

 

Codename: Kid’s Next Door

Episode: Operation: P.I.N.K.E.Y.E

Nurse Claiborne’s Apple Crumble

We all knew that adults were conspiring against us kids, but we had no concrete evidence. That’s where Codename: Kids Next Door came in. This show exposed all of the adults’ secrets, so we could plan our counterattack. But we weren’t prepared to discover just how far their lies went and saw things that can never be unseen. Things that were so jarring, that they’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. I was a witness to Operation: P.I.N.K.E.Y.E.

Seriously, watching Nurse Claiborne harvest eye crust for her apple crumble was super gross. Numbah 2 took it a lot better than I did, especially when he’d been munching on crumbles all day. Oh yeah, and did I mention they’re probably filled with boogers!? Despite how icky that episode is, it’s actually one of my favorites. Regardless, now my poor, messed up inner child can have her revenge on adults in the form of tasty, non-eye crusty nor boogery apple crumble!

Recipe makes 16 crumble slices.

 Ingredients

 Cake:

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon cinnamon

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup butter

1 ¼ cups light brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup sour cream

Filling

 1 ½ tablespoons butter

2 cups apples, peeled and chopped

¼ cup brown sugar

½ tablespoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 tablespoon cornstarch

Crumble

¾ cup flour

½ cup brown sugar

3 tablespoons turbinado/raw sugar – Optional, but it gives it a nice crunch.

6 tablespoons butter, cold – cut into small chunks

 

Directions

 Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a 9 X 9 baking dish

Filling:

Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the apples, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Cook the apples for 10 minutes or until soft. (Some varieties take much longer to soften.) Add the lemon juice and cornstarch and cook until the mixture bubbles. Reduce the heat to low and cook an additional minute, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and set aside.

Cake:

Combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt in a medium bowl. In a stand mixer, cream butter and sugar on medium speed until fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and beat after each addition. Add the vanilla. Reduce the speed to low and add the dry ingredients and sour cream, alternatingly.

Crumble:

Combine flour, brown sugar, and turbinado sugar in a small bowl. Cut in butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

Putting It All Together:

We’re making layers! Pour enough batter into the baking dish to cover the bottom. Spread half the filling over the batter. Add more batter to cover the filling. Spread the rest of the filling over that batter layer. Pour and spread the remainder of the batter on top. Run a skewer through the cake, just enough to swirl the layers together a little. Smooth out and completely cover with crumble topping. Bake for 35 – 40 minutes, or until golden and set. Remove and cool completely on a wire rack. Cut, serve, and enjoy!

Variations: You can use a 9 X 13 pan for thinner crumbles and you can certainly add more topping.

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Take that adult tyranny! We’ve taken back our baked goods. Next we’ll take back the ice cream, and the school lunches, and then the whole world! OK, I know that I’ve technically outgrown the KND, but age is just a number. I’ll keep doing my grownup stuff because I have to, but I’ll always be an honorary member of the Kids Next Door.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!