Cookie’s Food

First off, I’d like to thank “this board” for taking the time to hear my proposal, er, read my blog. Now, we’ve all heard of the movie of Atlantis, a science fiction action-adventure film that was released by Disney back in 2001. “Now, some of you may ask, ‘Why Atlantis?’” It’s just a flop, isn’t it? “Well, that is where you’d be wrong.” Atlantis: The Lost Empire is the exciting journey of a cartographer and linguist who leads a ragtag band of specialists/plundering vandals to the greatest archeological find in recorded history. Sure, it didn’t perform as well as expected at the box office, but money’s not what’s important. (Unless you’re an “adventure capitalist.”) Atlantis is really all about discovery, teamwork, and adventure.

The lost continent of Atlantis is just a legend, right? So to go on an expedition to find it, you’ve got to be crazy. (Crazy, passionate, quirky, snarky, sweet.) The characters all have such strong, differing personalities. I wish the movie was twice as long, so I could learn more about each one. One of my favorite parts of Atlantis is when the team makes camp. The others finally accept Milo and they eat, and pitch up tents, and just talk. However, they probably would prefer to just skip that eating part. Cookie’s great and all, but his food doesn’t look much like food. When he slops “the appetizer” onto everyone’s trays, he calls it Caesar salad, escargot, and Oriental spring rolls. I call it…well I really don’t know what to call it! (I don’t even know what it is.) But I know it contains the four basic food groups: beans, bacon, whisky, and lard.

Recipe makes about 4 cups of beany cornmeal mush.

Ingredients

¼ pound dry pinto beans, rinsed and soaked in water overnight

1 small onion, finely chopped

1 small garlic clove, minced

¼ pound bacon, cut into small pieces

2 tablespoons ketchup

2 tablespoons molasses

2 tablespoons whisky

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 tablespoon lard

6 cups water

1 cup yellow corn meal

Salt

Directions

Rinse the beans and soak in water overnight. Drain.

Place room temperature bacon pieces in a pot and bring to medium heat. Once the bacon pieces begin to crisp, add the onion. Cook the onion for 5 minutes and add the garlic. Cook for 30 seconds. Add beans and water and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer the beans for 1 ½ hours.

Add ketchup, molasses, brown sugar, whisky, and lard and continue simmering for 30 minutes. Bring the beans back to a boil and add the corn meal. Stirring constantly, cook until thickened, about 3 minutes. (If it’s too thick, add some extra water.) Season with salt. Come and get it!

“Thank God I lost my sense of taste years ago.” I’m just kidding. The stuff isn’t pretty, but it’s not that bad. (I don’t think you’ll be seeing any mushroom clouds if you dump it into a fire.) So are you ready for the main course? Oh, you say you couldn’t eat another bite. “Ha ha ha, don’t you worry. It’ll keep and keep and keep.”

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!