SpongeBob SquarePants

Episode: Pizza Delivery
Krusty Krab Pizza /Krabby Patty Pizza

Even though I love doing my Cartoon Cravings thing, I’m still not really a big fan of writing. I can talk someone’s head off about shows I love, but when I have to put it down on paper or a screen, it gets tough. So I do tend to procrastinate a bit and that always leads me back to SpongeBob SquarePants. A lot of things I do always seem to connect with SpongeBob. (I hope it’s not just me.) I think that’s part of SpongeBob’s charm. Some things are so unexpected and other things hit so close to home that you can’t help but laugh at it. Yeah, a sponge living in a pineapple and working as a fry cook sounds pretty weird. But the world loves weird, because it seems like every person out there has at least heard of SpongeBob.

Now here’s my chance to tackle a show I’ve loved for years and has involved food since Episode One. Every time I turn around, the characters are at the Krusty Krab and Krabby Patties are showing up everywhere. And what do I do? I make pizza. I know. I couldn’t help myself. “Pizza Delivery” is in my Top 2 of Spongebob episodes. (“Band Geeks” takes the top spot by a slim margin.) And it really is the perfect way to describe my life. Oh, and I can’t forget the “Krusty Krab Pizza” song! Every time we have pizza in this house, someone is singing that song. By someone I mean me. And my sister. She takes care of the high notes for me. I’ll get to a good ol’ Krabby Patty sometime down the line, but at least it’s a Krabby Patty Pizza. Mr. Krabs mashes up Krabby Patties, so I figured it had to be a cheeseburger pizza. It’s just topped with mushrooms and pepperoni for an extra oomph.

Recipe makes 1 really large pizza or two 12-inch pizzas.

Ingredients

Crust:

1 ¼ cups warm water (105-115 degrees F)

2 ¼ teaspoons yeast

3 teaspoons sugar

3 tablespoons instant non-fat dry milk powder

1 ½ teaspoons salt

1 ½ tablespoons olive oil

3 cups bread flour

 

Sauce:

¼ cup, plus 2 tablespoons ketchup

1 ½ tablespoons mustard

1 ½ tablespoons mayonnaise

1 teaspoon sugar

 

Toppings:

Ground Beef:

½ pound ground beef

½ cup chopped onions

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

3 teaspoons of your favorite hamburger rub or spice combination

Up to 1 tablespoon of liquid smoke (Optional)

1 tablespoon olive oil

 

Use as much or as little of:

Shredded Mozzarella

Shredded Cheddar Cheese (Or use your favorite cheese combination.)

Dill Pickles

Mushrooms

Pepperoni

 

Directions

Crust:

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in the warm water. Let rest for 5 minutes or until foamy. Combine flour, dry milk powder, and salt in a large bowl. Add olive oil and yeast mixture to flour. Stir to combine and form into a ball with your hands. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 10 minutes. Form the dough into a ball again and place in a large bowl. Lightly coat dough with oil and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise in a warm place for 2 hours or until it has doubled in size. Punch down the dough and flatten and stretch it into desired pizza size and shape. Let rest for 15 minutes on a lightly floured pizza paddle or on your pizza pan.

Sauce:

Combine ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and sugar in a small bowl.

Ground Beef:

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions, ground beef, hamburger rub, Worcestershire sauce, and liquid smoke. Cook until the meat has browned. Remove from heat and set aside.

Putting It All Together:

If you have a pizza stone, place it in the oven. If not, just make your pizza on the pan and place it in the oven once it is heated.

Preheat oven as high as it can go! Mine was at 550 degrees F.

Ladle desired amount of sauce onto crust. Layer dill pickles over the sauce. Spread the ground beef over the pickles. Add cheese. Top with mushrooms and pepperoni. Transfer the pizza from paddle to stone or place your pizza pan in the oven. Bake until crust is browned and cooked through. My pizza was in there for 15 minutes, but all ovens vary so you may have to adjust your cooking time.

Remove the pizza from oven. Slice and enjoy!

spongebob pizzasponge pizza

I’d be happy to eat the whole thing in one bite. I don’t need a Diet Dr. Kelp. Seriously, I will never forgive that guy for making SpongeBob cry. If I didn’t already like Squidward, his heroics right there would easily have won me over. The honor of having the first Krabby Patty Pizza is wasted on a jerk. And how come that pizza didn’t take off? It’s awesome! Maybe Mr. Krabs didn’t find it cost-effective. After all, he did ADD the mushrooms and pepperoni.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)

 

 

Episode: Turtle Tracks (and just about every other episode)

Pizza

Sometimes I wonder how long I would’ve been able to survive if I never met the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Every instance where I thought I was going to positively die of boredom, those heroes in a half shell came to my rescue. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was a huge deal for me as a little kid. Family haircuts were an excruciating three hours of flipping through the same old magazines until I discovered our hairdresser’s son had an extensive Turtle toy collection. Or whenever my parents threw parties at our local lodge, us kids would find solace in one tiny hallway with a Turtles arcade game. Even when our parents didn’t give us money to play the game, we’d still hide out in the hallway and watch it replay the same scenes again and again. And most importantly, I could find those boys on my TV, protecting me against Shredder, Krang, and bad television.

Every time I tuned into my favorite fearsome fighting team, I learned just how far a pizza could be pushed beyond the limit of simple pepperoni. I’ve eaten enough pizza throughout my life that I could easily go toe to toe with Michelangelo. My combinations aren’t as inventive as bananas and sausage, but I’ve made some masterpieces. Leftover Thanksgiving Dinner is one of my very favorites. It may be more work than ordering out, but I haven’t seen any Weird Pizza To Go locations anywhere and what Pizza Hut carries guacamole and marshmallows?

Recipe makes one large pizza

 Ingredients

 Crust:

1 ¼ cups warm water (105-110 degrees F)

2 ¼ teaspoons yeast (active dry or instant both work)

3 teaspoons sugar

3 tablespoons instant non-fat dry milk powder

1 ½ teaspoons salt

1 ½ tablespoons olive oil

3 cups bread flour

Sauce:

1 can (28 ounces) whole peeled tomatoes

1 clove garlic, minced

¼ small onion, minced

½ teaspoon dried oregano

½ teaspoon dried parsley

1 teaspoon sugar

2 tablespoons ketchup

Salt and Pepper to taste

1 tablespoon olive oil

Toppings:

Whatever you want. I did a mashup of:

Pepperoni and Ice Cream, Jellybeans and Mushrooms, and Anchovies and Peanut Butter

Use as much or as little of:

8 ounce bag of shredded mozzarella

1 6 ounce package pepperoni

1 small pack of mushrooms

1 small can anchovies

1 small bag of jellybeans

1 heaping spoonful peanut butter

1 heaping spoonful chocolate ice cream

1 heaping spoonful vanilla ice cream

 

Directions

 Crust:

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast, sugar, and dry milk powder in the warm water. Let rest for 5-10 minutes or until foamy. Combine flour and salt in a large bowl. Add olive oil and yeast mixture to flour. Stir to combine and form into a ball with your hands. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 10 minutes. Form the dough into a ball again and place in a large bowl. Lightly coat dough with oil and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise in a warm place for 2 hours or until it has doubled in size. Punch down the dough and flatten and stretch it into desired pizza size and shape. Let rest for 15 minutes on a lightly floured pizza paddle or on a pizza pan.

Sauce:

Mash tomatoes in a small bowl. Pour olive oil into a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and cook until translucent. Add garlic and sauté for one minute. Add tomatoes and ketchup. Add oregano, parsley, sugar, salt, and pepper. Turn heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Putting It All Together:

If you have a pizza stone, place it in the oven. If not, make your pizza on the pan and place it in the oven once it’s heated.

Preheat oven as high as it can go! Mine was at 550 degrees F.

Ladle desired amount of sauce onto crust. Add cheese. Add toppings. (Meat and mushrooms in my case.) Transfer pizza from paddle to stone or pan. Bake until crust is browned and cooked through. My pizza was in there for 15 minutes, but ovens vary so you may have to adjust your cooking time.

Remove pizza from the oven. Let it cool slightly and add the melty ingredients. Slice it up and have at it!

DSC_0371 (2) DSC_0361 (2)

Pizza is the greatest food ever! It tastes amazing, it’s portable, and you can put whatever you want on it. I’m pretty sure if you cut me open, I bleed pizza sauce. Well, if the Turtles ever need another member, I’m always free. My ninja skills are nothing to write home about, but I can always help them eat through a mountain of pizza. Oh, and I’ve been practicing this for years, so I’ve got to say it once before I go…ahem…COWABUNGA!!!!

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!