Episode: Pizza Delivery
Krusty Krab Pizza /Krabby Patty Pizza
Even though I love doing my Cartoon Cravings thing, I’m still not really a big fan of writing. I can talk someone’s head off about shows I love, but when I have to put it down on paper or a screen, it gets tough. So I do tend to procrastinate a bit and that always leads me back to SpongeBob SquarePants. A lot of things I do always seem to connect with SpongeBob. (I hope it’s not just me.) I think that’s part of SpongeBob’s charm. Some things are so unexpected and other things hit so close to home that you can’t help but laugh at it. Yeah, a sponge living in a pineapple and working as a fry cook sounds pretty weird. But the world loves weird, because it seems like every person out there has at least heard of SpongeBob.
Now here’s my chance to tackle a show I’ve loved for years and has involved food since Episode One. Every time I turn around, the characters are at the Krusty Krab and Krabby Patties are showing up everywhere. And what do I do? I make pizza. I know. I couldn’t help myself. “Pizza Delivery” is in my Top 2 of Spongebob episodes. (“Band Geeks” takes the top spot by a slim margin.) And it really is the perfect way to describe my life. Oh, and I can’t forget the “Krusty Krab Pizza” song! Every time we have pizza in this house, someone is singing that song. By someone I mean me. And my sister. She takes care of the high notes for me. I’ll get to a good ol’ Krabby Patty sometime down the line, but at least it’s a Krabby Patty Pizza. Mr. Krabs mashes up Krabby Patties, so I figured it had to be a cheeseburger pizza. It’s just topped with mushrooms and pepperoni for an extra oomph.
Recipe makes 1 really large pizza or two 12-inch pizzas.
1 ¼ cups warm water (105-115 degrees F)
2 ¼ teaspoons yeast
3 teaspoons sugar
3 tablespoons instant non-fat dry milk powder
1 ½ teaspoons salt
1 ½ tablespoons olive oil
3 cups bread flour
¼ cup, plus 2 tablespoons ketchup
1 ½ tablespoons mustard
1 ½ tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon sugar
½ pound ground beef
½ cup chopped onions
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
3 teaspoons of your favorite hamburger rub or spice combination
Up to 1 tablespoon of liquid smoke (Optional)
1 tablespoon olive oil
Use as much or as little of:
Shredded Cheddar Cheese (Or use your favorite cheese combination.)
In a small bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in the warm water. Let rest for 5 minutes or until foamy. Combine flour, dry milk powder, and salt in a large bowl. Add olive oil and yeast mixture to flour. Stir to combine and form into a ball with your hands. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 10 minutes. Form the dough into a ball again and place in a large bowl. Lightly coat dough with oil and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise in a warm place for 2 hours or until it has doubled in size. Punch down the dough and flatten and stretch it into desired pizza size and shape. Let rest for 15 minutes on a lightly floured pizza paddle.
Combine ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and sugar in a small bowl.
Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions, ground beef, hamburger rub, Worcestershire sauce, and liquid smoke. Cook until the meat has browned. Remove from heat and set aside.
Putting It All Together:
If you have a pizza stone, place it in the oven. If not, place your pizza pan in the oven while it preheats.
Preheat oven as high as it can go! Mine was at 550 degrees F.
Ladle desired amount of sauce onto crust. Layer dill pickles over the sauce. Spread the ground beef over the pickles. Add cheese. Top with mushrooms and pepperoni. Transfer the pizza from paddle to stone or pan. Bake until crust is browned and cooked through. My pizza was in there for 15 minutes, but other ovens only need about 7. All ovens vary, so you may have to adjust your cooking time.
Remove the pizza from oven. Slice and enjoy!
I’d be happy to eat the whole thing in one bite. I don’t need a Diet Dr. Kelp. Seriously, I will never forgive that guy for making SpongeBob cry. If I didn’t already like Squidward, his heroics right there would easily have won me over. The honor of having the first Krabby Patty Pizza is wasted on a jerk. And how come that pizza didn’t take off? It’s awesome! Maybe Mr. Krabs didn’t find it cost-effective. After all, he did ADD the mushrooms and pepperoni.
Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!