Episode: Johnny Bravo Deep Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich
More often than I’d like to admit, I’ve released my inner Johnny Bravo on the unsuspecting world. I’ll say or do something Johnny-ish and my sister will immediately turn to me and say, “No more Johnny Bravo for you.” I can’t help it. It left quite the impression on me since I saw it on What A Cartoon! I felt like all of those shorts that went on to become Cartoon Cartoons were made just for me. (Forget all the popularity and demographic mumbo jumbo. They were made for ME and only ME.) There were so many things that went right over my head, but I didn’t care. That’s why now I appreciate quality shows with multiple levels. I hardly got any of Johnny Bravo‘s pop culture references, but I still enjoyed them. I wouldn’t love Donny Osmond as much as I do if I hadn’t seen him on the show. Sad but true.
And how can I not want to be Johnny Bravo? (Or Jenny Brava in my case.) In his own way, Johnny is kind of a good role model. Not the vain, meat-headed, pig side of him. That’s bad. (There’s something up with those sunglasses.) What I’m talking about is Johnny’s self-confidence. I want to get up every morning, look in the mirror, and have to call emergency personnel because I look that good. And he can deliver the goofiest pickup lines with ease because he truly believes in himself. Then when he’s crushed (literally) his confidence only wavers for a moment, if at all. He’s good. I mean, he’s the kind of guy that can break into song, pull a pot of hot oil out of nowhere, make a peanut butter and banana sandwich, and deep fry that bad boy in seconds. Sure, that’s probably because he’s a cartoon character, but I’d like to believe that that’s just one of Johnny’s superpowers. I can make a deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwich too, but it’s going to take me a couple minutes. And I can’t fry a thing with that kind of finesse. I better get practicing.
So, Johnny just plops a sandwich into the hot oil. That’s fine and dandy, but if I do that, all I end up with is soggy bread without a trace of peanut butter left inside. To protect the sandwich, it’s getting a nice coating of batter first.
Recipe makes 2 sandwiches.
Ingredients
Sandwiches:
4 slices of bread
4 tablespoons peanut butter (You can add more if you want but beware of leakage.)
1-2 large bananas (Depends on how much banana you like.)
Vegetable Oil for Frying
Batter:
½ cup milk
1 egg, beaten
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup flour
1 teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
Directions
Sandwich:
I know everyone has their own way of making sandwiches, so do what you need to make peanut butter and banana sandwiches. You can spread 1 tablespoon of peanut butter onto each slice of bread. Slice the banana in half, lengthwise, or into about ¼ inch slices. Lay either both banana halves or about half of the slices on one piece of bread. Top that with the second slice of bread.
Batter:
In a small bowl, combine the milk, egg, and vanilla extract. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the wet ingredients and whisk until a smooth batter of dippable consistency forms. If you want it thinner, add more milk.
Putting It All Together:
Heat oil in a large pot/deep skillet or in a deep fryer to 350 degrees F.
Dip the sandwich into the batter and coat thoroughly. Allow the excess batter to drip off and use tongs to move it to the hot oil.
Fry the sandwich until golden brown on each side, 2-2 ½ minutes. Drain the sandwich on paper towels and repeat with the second sandwich. Serve warm!
I understand that the zookeeper had a lot on her mind since a 900-pound gorilla escaped, but if I’m offered a deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwich, I’ll happily take it. Well, you probably shouldn’t take food from strangers, but I’d take one from Johnny. He was only trying to impress a pretty girl, but he went searching for the gorilla even though he had no idea what one looks like. His heart’s in the right place. It’s the Bravo brain that needs help.
One of my favorite shows in the entire universe is Cartoon Planet. I had been watching Space Ghost & Dino Boy for years, so I already liked the characters. Then they got the 90’s treatment (We affectionately refer to it as “being slapped with the 90’s pan.”) and I fell in love with them! The characters were taken in a direction I never imagined they would be (They became stupid, really stupid in Brak’s case.) and it’s so much fun to watch. I was immensely enjoying Space Ghost Coast to Coast and before I knew it, Cartoon Planet came out of nowhere and amped up the crazy! By that I mean they added Brak as a co-star. (Sorry, Moltar.) And they started “Zorak’s Helpful Hints”, and “The Cartoon Planet Storybook,” and songs about baloney sandwiches and other silly stuff. This reminds me, I’d like to take this moment to apologize to my parents who had to endure all those car rides with us wailing “Highway 40 Revisited” in the backseat.
Anyhoo. With my crazy love for the show, I’ve been dying to cover food from it. And Space Ghost and the guys do love food. They have several songs dedicated to foods and they talk about eating often. Brak even has his own cooking segment. (That he never really gets to do because his cooking makes people seriously ill.) The problem though, is Cartoon Planet was made on the cheap. When the guys spoke or sang about food, the same images were recycled over and over. I’d have no problem with that except that they were real foods. I very well can’t make cartoon food a reality if I don’t have cartoon food to start off with. On rare occasions, a quick drawing of a food item would show up. And lucky for me, a lone doughnut shows up during “The Cartoon Planet Storybook’s,” “What Does My Second Cousin Do?”
Recipe makes 18-24 glazed doughnuts.
Ingredients
Doughnut:
1/3 cup warm water (105-115 degrees F)
4 ½ teaspoons yeast
½ cup sugar
1 ½ teaspoons salt
½ cup (1 stick) butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 cup milk, room temperature
2 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 ½ cups flour
Vegetable Oil for Frying
Glaze:
¼ cup milk
2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups powdered sugar, sifted
Black Food Coloring
Directions
Doughnut:
In a small bowl, dissolve yeast and 2 tablespoons of sugar in the warm water. Let it rest for 5-10 minutes, or until foamy. In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the rest of the sugar, salt, butter, milk, eggs, vanilla extract, and half of the flour. Add the yeast mixture and mix all the ingredients together using the paddle attachment. Once all the ingredients are fully combined, add the remaining flour and mix until the flour is fully incorporated. Replace the paddle with the dough hook attachment and beat on medium speed until the dough is smooth and pulls away from the bowl, about 5 minutes. Move the dough to a large, clean bowl. Lightly coat dough with oil and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise in a warm place for 2 hours or until it has doubled in size.
On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough out to a ½ inch thickness. (A little less thick is fine too. I just like big doughnuts.) Cut out doughnuts with a doughnut cutter or large and small cookie cutters. Move the doughnuts to a parchment-lined baking sheet and cover with a towel. Let the doughnuts rise for 30 minutes.
Heat oil in a large pot/deep skillet or in a deep fryer to 370 degrees F.
Fry the doughnuts for 60-90 seconds on each side. (Whenever they turn golden.) Move the doughnuts to a cooling rack and allow to cool completely.
Glaze:
In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together butter, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar. Begin stirring in milk, 1 tablespoon at a time, until you’ve reached the desired consistency. Whisk until smooth. Move some of the glaze to a small bowl and tint with the food coloring. Place the black glaze in a piping bag.
Putting It All Together:
Dip the doughnuts, one at a time, in the glaze until they have a thick, even coating on top. Allow the glaze to rest a few minutes to fully set. Use the black glaze to pipe little circles onto the doughnuts. Once they set, you can eat up!
Is this batch of doughnuts a desperate excuse to talk about Cartoon Planet? Oh you bet, but who doesn’t like tasty doughnuts? I mean aside from “My Second Cousin.” And it’s Cartoon Planet we’re talking about. Nothing has to make sense here. If you want something bad enough and throw a bunch of funky stuff together, you should end up with something great.
I’ve been wondering for a long time just how well I’d fare in a reality competition series. I know I wouldn’t make it anywhere near the end, but maybe, just maybe, I might make it past the first elimination. I’m not all that eager to find out though, because my couch is a far safer place than any of these shows. How well do you think anyone would do on Total Drama Island? Me personally, I’m one of those non-athletic people with a low tolerance to pain who hate gross foods and situations. Chris McLean would eat me alive. Obviously, I mean that figuratively since he and Chef eat fancy food at Craft Services every day. The campers, I’m not so sure. Anything is better than the… “food” that Chef serves. I don’t doubt he’s skilled. I’m just not into things like French Bunion Soup with hangnail crackers. I can see why everyone started puking at the Brunch of Disgustingness.
Actual non-disgusting foods do show up every once in a blue moon. The most memorable for me would be the all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast Chef serves the campers. Maybe it’s because Chris had to specify that Chef was preparing genuine food by-products served with fresh ingredients relatively close to their expiration dates. (Yum!) Or maybe it’s because of Owen and his pancake song. Yep, definitely Owen. (“Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!”) He was more excited about pancakes than getting closer to winning the $100,000. I would still want the money, but I do kind of agree with Owen. The only thing better than pancakes is all-you-can-eat pancakes!
Recipe makes 8 six-inch pancakes.
Ingredients
2 cups flour
3 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 large eggs, room temperature, slightly beaten
2-2 1/2 cups buttermilk, room temperature
¼ cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 teaspoon vanilla
Toppings like almond slivers, maple syrup, and candy (Optional)
Directions
Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F.
Heat an electric griddle to 375 degrees F or set a skillet over medium heat.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl, whisk together eggs, buttermilk, butter, and vanilla extract. Add the wet ingredients to the flour mixture and whisk to combine. Don’t overmix. The batter should still have lumps. Grease griddle with butter, vegetable oil, or non-stick cooking spray. Ladle out about ½ cup of batter onto the griddle. You may have to use the ladle to shape the pancake into a large disk. Cook until the pancake bubbles and the edges begin to set, 2 ½-3 minutes. Flip the pancake and cook until golden on the bottom, about 2 minutes. Place pancake in the oven to keep warm. Repeat the process until you run out of batter. Tee ‘em up!
You don’t need to win 100 Grand to start every day with pancakes. They don’t cost all that much to make and it’s way easier than playing on Total Drama Island. Pancakes are like little mini sunshines filled with yummy fun. Camp Wawanakwa is not. Owen, with his deep pancake wisdom said, “All the all-you-can-eat pancakes in the world wouldn’t be special without friends to share them.” (Then he went on to eat a toilet seat.) That may be true, but all of the all-you-can-eat pancakes in the world wouldn’t be enough to get me on that show.
The city of Townsville. It’s a nice, bustling metropolis which would be a great place to live if it wasn’t being attacked every day. Whether it’s monsters, aliens, or supervillains, the city’s got them. Or I should say they’ve got the city. I would’ve moved out a long time ago. Well, if I lived in the Powerpuff universe, I’d like to be a fourth Powerpuff Girl. Not like Princess or Bunny but a nice mix of Blossom and Bubbles. (I think I’m just a little too soft to be Buttercup.) I could be a good addition to the team who saves the world before bedtime. I’ve got the brains to outwit Mojo Jojo, the courage to scare away The Boogie Man, and the guts to take out The Broccoloids.
Speaking of guts, just like half the people out there, I’m trying to eat a little healthier and get back into shape. (Emphasis on trying because I’ve eaten pizza more than once this week.) I’ve never had a problem with eating my veggies like the kids in Townsville do. My problem is stuff like liver and onions. So what better health food to whip up than broccoli? Just like Professor Utonium says, “It’s exactly what growing superheroes need to charge up their powers.” I don’t know how the people of Townsville prefer their broccoli cooked, but I’m roasting mine. And just to add a little more pizzazz, I’m serving it over a rice pilaf.
Recipe makes 5-6 servings.
Ingredients
Broccoli
1 large head of broccoli, cut into florets and chunks
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
Salt
Pepper
Rice Pilaf
2 cups white rice, rinsed
2 ½ cups chicken broth
¼ cup water
2 tablespoons butter
½ medium onion, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon salt
Directions
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.
Broccoli:
Combine broccoli, olive oil, garlic, salt, and pepper in a large mixing bowl. Spread out onto a baking sheet. Move the baking sheet to the oven and roast the broccoli until it’s tender, about 10 minutes. Remove from oven.
Rice Pilaf:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Melt the butter in a large, ovenproof saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and cook until translucent, 3-4 minutes. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add rice and cook, stirring frequently, until the rice becomes fragrant, 3-4 minutes. Add the chicken broth, water, bay leaf, and salt. Bring the mixture to a boil.
Remove saucepan from heat, cover with lid or foil, and transfer to oven. Bake for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and let it rest for 15 minutes without removing the lid or foil. Remove the bay leaf and fluff the rice with a fork.
Putting It All Together:
Scoop and spread out rice onto a plate. Top with a hearty amount of broccoli. Time to eat it all up!
I can pop broccoli into my mouth like it’s vitamin and mineral packed candy, so the Broccoloid Empire better be wary. And if I’m armed with cheese sauce…let’s just say it’s not going to be a pretty sight. Just like when the day comes where I snap and start eating the produce section at my local grocery store. I know that broccoli doesn’t have the same appeal as cake, a corndog, or a hamster (No, I don’t eat hamsters.), but it does taste good and it’s good for you too. Both in the bodily health sense and the prevention of destruction by evil broccoli-based aliens sense. So when you do get served some veggies, you better eat all of them because you can never be too careful.
Who wouldn’t want the Grim Reaper to be his/her best friend forever? You get to pal around with the master of the forces of life and death. And in Billy and Mandy’s case, you get to boss him around. Talk about power. You also get to encounter all sorts of monsters and magic that most people don’t even know exist. I can see how that can lead to trouble pretty quickly. Just look at Billy and the whole Chocolate Sailor debacle. He becomes so addicted to the chocolate he’s supposed to be selling that he becomes solid chocolate and eats himself.
It’s sad to say, but that would probably happen to me too because I like chocolate! I’ve just about taken out my dad over the stuff. Just like Billy. I’m not proud of it, but I just can’t stop. If the Chocolate Sailor offered me an assortment of enchanted chocolates, I’d have to try them all. So just in time for Halloween, here’s an assortment that you can eat all of without exploding into a big, chocolatey mess.
Ingredients
1 pound milk chocolate, coarsely chopped or melting wafers
1 pound dark chocolate, coarsely chopped or melting wafers
2 pounds white chocolate, coarsely chopped or melting wafers
Light green food coloring
Caramel
1 cup sugar
¼ cup light corn syrup
¼ cup water
½ cup heavy cream, room temperature
4 tablespoons butter, room temperature- cut into chunks
½ teaspoon salt
Buttercream
¼ cup (half stick) butter, room temperature
¼ cup shortening
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups (half pound) powdered sugar, sifted
Chocolate Hazelnut Spread
1 cup hazelnuts, skinned
3 tablespoons sugar
12 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon salt
Marshmallows
1 ½ packets of unflavored gelatin
½ cup cold water, divided
½ cup light corn syrup
¾ cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¼ cup powdered sugar, sifted, plus more if needed
Peanut Butter Filling
1 ½ cups peanut butter
3 tablespoons butter
2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
Or 1 package caramels
1 container buttercream
1 jar chocolate hazelnut spread
1 package marshmallows
Directions
Caramel:
Grease and line an 8 inch baking dish with parchment paper.
In a saucepan, combine sugar, corn syrup, and water. Place over high heat and stir until sugar has dissolved. Attach a candy thermometer to the side of the pan and cook until the mixture reaches 230 degrees F. Reduce heat to medium and cook, without stirring, until the syrup mixture is golden. When the syrup reaches close to 300 degrees F, gently stir. Continue to cook until the syrup turns dark amber and closes in on 350 degrees F. Remove from the heat, stir, and let sit for a couple minutes. Slowly add heavy cream, butter, and salt. The mixture will bubble, so be careful. Return the saucepan to the stove and stir until the butter is completely melted. Cook over medium heat until it reaches 255 degrees F. Take off the heat and pour into a prepared pan. Tap the pan to remove bubbles and place on a cooling rack. Let sit for about 4 hours and cut into pieces. (If you plan on making your chocolates right away, you can just leave your caramel in the saucepan and just allow it to cool slightly.)
Buttercream:
In a stand mixer, beat butter and shortening until fluffy. Add vanilla extract. Beat powdered sugar in, a little at a time. Scrape down sides of the bowl and add milk. If the icing is too thick, add more milk, ½ teaspoon at a time.
Chocolate Hazelnut Spread:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Place hazelnuts on a baking sheet and toast for 15 minutes, or until deep brown. Let cool.
Grind hazelnuts and sugar in a food processor for about 1 minute, or until smooth. Melt chocolate in a bowl over a saucepan of simmering water and let cool. Add vegetable oil, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, and salt to hazelnut paste and process until smooth. Add the melted chocolate and combine. Strain if there are excess hazelnut chunks. Let cool completely to thicken.
Marshmallows:
Lightly grease an 8 X 8 baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. Dump powdered sugar into the dish and swirl it around until the bottom and sides are completely coated. Shake excess powdered sugar into a bowl for later use.
Pour gelatin and 1/4 cup of cold water in the bowl of a stand mixer equipped with the whisk attachment. While the gelatin is blooming, combine the remaining 1/4 cup of water, corn syrup, sugar, and salt in a small saucepan. Place the saucepan over medium high heat and cook until the sugar has dissolved. Attach a candy thermometer to the pan and continue to cook, without stirring, until it reads 240 degrees F. Immediately take the syrup off the heat. With the mixer on low, pour the syrup into the gelatin. When all of the syrup is in the bowl, increase the mixer’s speed to high. Whip the mixture until it’s thick, about 12 minutes. Add the vanilla extract during the last minute of whipping.
Pour the marshmallow into the prepared pan and spread evenly with a lightly greased spatula. Things may get messy! Sprinkle some of the remaining powdered sugar over the marshmallow to completely cover the top. Let the marshmallow completely rest until firm, about 4 hours. (If you plan on making your chocolates right away, you can spread the marshmallow into your molds before it fully sets.)
Turn out marshmallow onto a cutting board. With a lightly greased knife or pizza cutter, cut into marshmallows. I usually aim for 2-inch squares. Roll the marshmallows into the rest of the powdered sugar to coat all sides.
Peanut Butter Filling
Add peanut butter, butter, and powdered sugar in a stand mixer and beat on medium-low speed until combined.
Putting It All Together:
Caustic Caramel Cream:
Melt half of the white chocolate in a double boiler or a bowl over a pot of simmering water. Stir in a small amount of light green food coloring. Spoon a small amount of chocolate into the chocolate molds of your choice and swirl around. Use a small paintbrush or similar tool to ensure that chocolate covers the entire mold. Dump excess chocolate back into the bowl. Let the chocolate set.
Melt caramel and 2 tablespoons milk in a saucepan. Spread caramel and then buttercream in the mold, leaving enough room to encase it in chocolate. Pour more colored white chocolate on top to seal in caramel and buttercream. Tap mold on the counter to remove bubbles. Let chocolate completely set. Remove from mold.
Horrific Hazelnut:
Melt milk chocolate in a double boiler or a bowl over a pot of simmering water. Spoon a small amount of chocolate into the chocolate molds of your choice and swirl around. Use a small paintbrush or similar tool to ensure that chocolate covers the entire mold. Dump excess chocolate back into the bowl. Let the chocolate set. Spread chocolate hazelnut spread in the mold, leaving enough room to encase it in chocolate. Pour more chocolate on top to seal in spread. Tap mold on the counter to remove bubbles. Let chocolate completely set. Remove from mold.
Mutating Marshmallow:
Melt dark chocolate in a double boiler or a bowl over a pot of simmering water. Spoon a small amount of chocolate into the chocolate molds of your choice and swirl around. Use a small paintbrush or similar tool to ensure that chocolate covers the entire mold. Dump excess chocolate back into the bowl. Let the chocolate set.
Melt marshmallows either in a small saucepan or in the microwave. Spread marshmallow in the mold, leaving enough room to encase it in chocolate. Pour more chocolate on top to seal in marshmallow. Tap mold on the counter to remove bubbles. Let chocolate completely set. Remove from mold.
Antidote:
Melt the other half of the white chocolate in a double boiler or a bowl over a pot of simmering water. Spoon a small amount of white chocolate into the chocolate molds of your choice and swirl around. Use a small paintbrush or similar tool to ensure that chocolate covers the entire mold. Dump excess chocolate back into the bowl. Let the chocolate set. Spread peanut butter filling in the mold, leaving enough room to encase it in chocolate. Pour more white chocolate on top to seal in filling. Tap mold on the counter to remove bubbles. Let chocolate completely set. Remove from mold.
Variations:
Whenever I make candy, I try to make it worth my while. I just whip up a bunch of stuff and make candy until I run out of ingredients. You can easily make more or less of anything by halving or doubling any of the recipe.
Antidote doesn’t have a specific flavor, so I made what I wanted. I wanted peanut butter, but you can fill it with whatever you want or not fill it at all.
Although I have a ton of candy molds, nothing comes close to the big-mouthed monster looking things in the enchanted chocolate assortment. I used skeletons because they were on hand, but you can use whatever molds you want. If you don’t want to make them in molds, you can put the candy together in a parchment lined pan and cut them into bars.
Now we’ve got an army of enchanted chocolates minus the enchantment part. As hard as I tried, I still ended up a big chocolatey mess. At least I’m still human. I think. So maybe I haven’t learned my lesson yet. Enough chocolate induced stomach aches and I’ll change my ways. Either that or someone gets me an issue of Man Eating Comics.
Happy Fall! This time of year has always been my favorite because it’s the “Goldilocks’ Standard” of the seasons. It’s just right! Plus there’s that little spooky feeling floating in the air. It’s the perfect time to sit around a campfire and scare the snot out of each other with stories about Sinbad getting another TV show. Oh, you don’t do that? Well, surely you must talk about Candle Jack? You know, the for real boogeyman guy with the bag on his head? Yeah, that guy. He’s one of my top Freakazoid! villains. (The Lobe wins out by a smidge.) When I was younger, I used to call him Candle Blank, so he couldn’t spirit me away, even though I thought it might be kind of fun. He’s just so gosh darn adorable!
And one thing that goes hand in hand with Fall and Candle Jack is perfectly plump pumpkin pie. That’s his weakness. Out of everything in the entire universe, that’s his weakness. How can you not like the guy? Just like the show. It’s so stupidly funny, that I still bust a gut whenever I think about it. My parents just stop and stare and wonder what on earth is wrong with me. Even I don’t know the answer to that, but I better take it easy on the laughter or I won’t be able to enjoy this pie.
Recipe makes one 9-inch pie.
Ingredients
Crust:
1 ¼ cups flour
½ teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup (1 stick) butter, cold and cut into chunks
2 tablespoons ice water, plus 1 or 2 more tablespoons if needed
Filling:
2 cups fresh (cooked and mashed) or canned pumpkin
¾ cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 large egg yolk
2 tablespoons molasses
1 ½ cups half-&-half
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
½ teaspoon freshly grated ginger
Directions
Crust:
In a food processor, pulse flour, sugar, and salt until combined. Add butter and pulse until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add 2 tablespoons of ice water and pulse until dough just comes together when pressed. If the dough is too dry, add more ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time, and pulse again. Form dough into a disk and cover in plastic wrap. Let dough chill until firm, 30 minutes to an hour.
Filling:
In a large mixing bowl, beat eggs, egg yolk, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in pumpkin and molasses. Add cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. Gradually stir in half-&-half.
Putting It All Together:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Unwrap dough and place on a lightly floured surface. Roll out dough anywhere from 10 to 14 inches across and place in a pie tin. Gently press dough into place. Trim excess dough or fold it back on itself. Crimp edge for a more decorative look.
Pour filling into pie crust. Bake for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake for 1 hour, or until skewer inserted in it comes out clean. Cool pie on a wire rack for 2 hours. Refrigerate or serve it up!
This pumpkin pie is definitely something to scream about. A happy kind of scream. Not a scary, Scream-O-Vision type. Forget the steel, mortar, and bricks. All you need to catch me is the pie. I’ll even go along willingly. And now you know the rest of the blog. Good day!
Whenever my parents would ask us kids where we’d like to go on vacation, we would always say Nowhere. And by that, we always meant Kansas. We didn’t actually want to vacation in Kansas, but creepy stuff supposedly happens there and we wanted to see it for ourselves. Our request was always shot down, but at least we could watch Courage and see the place through his eyes. Honestly, I’m a huge chicken and probably would’ve cried if I ever came face-to-face with King Ramses or Benton Tarantella. So thank you, Mom and Dad!
While I was safe on my couch, poor, little Courage had to deal with all kinds of horrors on his own. Be it a weremole or an abominable snowman or chickens from outer space. All for Muriel’s sake, but sometimes the scariest thing on the farm is Muriel herself. Like when she and Eustace become violent, thieving flan maniacs after being brainwashed by a Flantasy Flan commercial. The whole brainwashing bit doesn’t sound too bad for a marketing strategy, minus the whole violent, thieving part. “Buy Flantasy Flan.” Catchy. But the self-proclaimed King of Flan didn’t have to hypnotize anyone. Flan is delicious.
Recipe makes 5 flan.
Ingredients
Caramel
½ cup sugar
Custard
¾ cup sugar
3 cups milk
4 large eggs
¼ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla
Yellow Food Coloring
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Bring a large pot of water to a boil and place 5 six-ounce ramekins in a deep baking dish or roasting pan.
Caramel
Add ½ cup of sugar to a saucepan on low heat. Without stirring the sugar, let it melt until it turns amber. Remove from heat and quickly pour caramel into each ramekin. Swirl each around to coat bottoms evenly.
Custard
Heat milk and ¼ cup of sugar in a saucepan over medium heat until mixture begins to bubble and steam, about 5 minutes. Do not let the mixture boil.
Whisk together eggs, salt, and remaining ½ cup of sugar in a large mixing bowl. Whisk a small amount (about a ladle) of milk mixture into eggs to temper them. Whisk in 2 to 3 more ladles, one at a time. Now add egg mixture back to the saucepan with the remaining milk mixture and whisk to combine. Strain custard through a sieve into a small bowl or liquid measuring cup. Add vanilla and a small amount of yellow food coloring.
Divide custard among the ramekins and add boiling water to the dish/pan until it reaches halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until custard is set.
Remove the dish/pan from the oven and take ramekins out of the water bath. Let cool until room temperature. Chill for 4 hours. If you’re impatient, at least let them chill for 1 hour. When ready to eat, run a knife around the edge of the ramekin. Place a small plate over the ramekin and invert them. When you lift up the ramekin, the flan should be jiggly and covered in caramelly goodness. Grab a spoon and dig in!
Oops! I’d much rather make my own flan than buy the pre-made stuff. Sorry, King of Flan. You lost one customer, along with all of Nowhere. Oh, well. That’s one less problem for Courage to deal with. That is, until someone or something comes lurking around that farmhouse.
I never met another person with my name until I was in my teens, so I think sharing my name/nickname with my best friends would be pretty exciting. Especially, if you’re a group of friends who hatch crazy schemes and go on silly adventures in a cul-de-sac where an eclectic group of kids reside. And all life as you know it revolves around jawbreakers!! Yeah, that’s the life. My neighborhood didn’t have many kids and it was close to impossible to get to anyone’s house on my own, so I’m a little jealous of the Eds. Well, maybe a lot of jealous.
At least there’s one thing I don’t envy about them. They have a Kanker problem. A big one. No place is safe for the Eds. Whether it’s Club Ed, the creek, or an abandoned house, those girls are there. Even in Jonny’s walls! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Kanker Sisters and they do have a lot of redeeming qualities. They’re tough, funny, and can cook. Kind of. Cheesy, lardy, fish burgers drenched in ketchup don’t sound all too appealing to most people, but I couldn’t pass it up. And you know what? I like them.
Recipe makes 6 burgers
Ingredients
14 ounces of fish sticks – A little more than half a 22oz box.
½ cup of processed cheese – Cheese chub, spread, or Velveeta all work fine.
½ cup pickles with juice
Salt and pepper to taste
Food coloring – Green and a little brown if you want it darker.
Lard – Optional-You can put any amount you want in to the burger or just use some to cook the burgers in.
Ketchup
Hamburger buns
Directions
In a food processor, combine fish sticks, cheese, pickles, lard, salt, and pepper. Add enough food coloring to get the shade of green you want. Be careful not to add too much or you’ll change the consistency of the fish mixture. I like using the gels, so I used just a small blob. Portion out mixture into patties with an ice cream scoop and slightly flatten. Cook in a skillet on medium/medium high heat 2-3 minutes per side or just enough to warm them up and build a crust on each side. Place patties on bottom buns and smother with as much ketchup as you want. Cover with top bun and eat!
Variations: Scoop out more mixture for Kanker-sized burgers. Toast hamburger buns for a little added crunch.
That wasn’t enough to scare you off? Good. I’m glad I left out the gears and stretchy meat stuff. (Not like I knew what that was anyway.) Only the best in processed foods here. Now all that’s left to do is mix yourself a tall glass of powdered milk, pop in Fish Bowl 2 (A classic!), and grab a comfy spot on the couch.
We all knew that adults were conspiring against us kids, but we had no concrete evidence. That’s where Codename: Kids Next Door came in. This show exposed all of the adults’ secrets, so we could plan our counterattack. But we weren’t prepared to discover just how far their lies went and saw things that can never be unseen. Things that were so jarring, that they’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. I was a witness to Operation: P.I.N.K.E.Y.E.
Seriously, watching Nurse Claiborne harvest eye crust for her apple crumble was super gross. Numbah 2 took it a lot better than I did, especially when he’d been munching on crumbles all day. Oh yeah, and did I mention they’re probably filled with boogers!? Despite how icky that episode is, it’s actually one of my favorites. Regardless, now my poor, messed up inner child can have her revenge on adults in the form of tasty, non-eye crusty nor boogery apple crumble!
Recipe makes 16 crumble slices.
Ingredients
Cake:
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup butter
1 ¼ cups light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup sour cream
Filling
1 ½ tablespoons butter
2 cups apples, peeled and chopped
¼ cup brown sugar
½ tablespoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon cornstarch
Crumble
¾ cup flour
½ cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons turbinado/raw sugar – Optional, but it gives it a nice crunch.
6 tablespoons butter, cold – cut into small chunks
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease a 9 X 9 baking dish
Filling:
Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the apples, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Cook the apples for 10 minutes or until soft. (Some varieties take much longer to soften.) Add the lemon juice and cornstarch and cook until the mixture bubbles. Reduce the heat to low and cook an additional minute, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and set aside.
Cake:
Combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt in a medium bowl. In a stand mixer, cream butter and sugar on medium speed until fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and beat after each addition. Add the vanilla. Reduce the speed to low and add the dry ingredients and sour cream, alternatingly.
Crumble:
Combine flour, brown sugar, and turbinado sugar in a small bowl. Cut in butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
Putting It All Together:
We’re making layers! Pour enough batter into the baking dish to cover the bottom. Spread half the filling over the batter. Add more batter to cover the filling. Spread the rest of the filling over that batter layer. Pour and spread the remainder of the batter on top. Run a skewer through the cake, just enough to swirl the layers together a little. Smooth out and completely cover with crumble topping. Bake for 35 – 40 minutes, or until golden and set. Remove and cool completely on a wire rack. Cut, serve, and enjoy!
Variations: You can use a 9 X 13 pan for thinner crumbles and you can certainly add more topping.
Take that adult tyranny! We’ve taken back our baked goods. Next we’ll take back the ice cream, and the school lunches, and then the whole world! OK, I know that I’ve technically outgrown the KND, but age is just a number. I’ll keep doing my grownup stuff because I have to, but I’ll always be an honorary member of the Kids Next Door.
CARTOON CRAVINGS 