Charlotte’s Web

A Veritable Smorgasbord

Salutations! (“It’s my fancy way of saying hello.”) Guess who I learned that from. She has eight legs, catches flies and drinks their blood, Wilbur adores her, and her name is right in the title. Yep, none other than Charlotte A. Cavatica! Now I’m not a big fan of spiders, but Charlotte is one of the very, very few exceptions. (She’s the only spider I’ve ever cried over, but I don’t want to talk about that.) Charlotte may be a common gray spider, but she’s terribly clever and has a gift for words. But most importantly, she’s a friend to Wilbur when he needs one the most. Charlotte promises to try to save Wilbur’s life and uses her talents to play a trick on Zuckerman by spinning “miracles” in her web. (“People are very gullible. They’ll believe anything they see in print.”) Charlotte’s web skyrockets Wilbur to fame and Zuckerman decides to take him to the county fair. But Wilbur isn’t safe from becoming smoked bacon and ham just yet.

When Charlotte needs inspiration for the miracles, she relies on the others in the barn cellar, especially Templeton. But Templeton is a rat who’d rather spend his time spying, hiding, and eating. He doesn’t like to do things for others unless there’s something in it for him. He has to be told that he’ll starve to death if Wilbur is killed. And even then the word he brings Charlotte is “Crunchy.” (He brings back a better word the second time.) So when the day of the fair arrives, Templeton refuses to come along until the Goose convinces him that a fair is a veritable smorgasbord, orgasbord, orgasbord. (“Why, a fair has enough disgusting leftover food to satisfy a whole army of rats.” Yummy.) After it gets dark and Templeton fetches a word for Charlotte, he declares it a night to remember and sets out to glut. He finds melon rinds, bits of hot dogs, cookie crumbs, rotten cotton candy, and other gobs of gorgeous gook. He even decides to pile up his goodies to the point where it topples over. But he doesn’t let that stop him. He eats what he can as it falls and continues his feast around the fairgrounds.

Recipe makes one ratly feast.

Ingredients

You can get as crazy as you want and add whatever to this. Here’s what I used.

Swiss cheese

Lighter cheese wedge with rind-Mine was white cheddar

Lunch meat-One grayer and one more red-Roast Beef and Pastrami

1-2 small zucchinis

Watermelon wedge

Tomato

Yellow snack cake

Chocolate snack cake

Popcorn

Egg-Boiled

Fish-Extra points if you can get a whole one. I had to settle for a fillet, but it is easier to eat.

Chocolate wafer cookie

Vanilla wafer cookies

1 leaf lettuce

Green olives

Black olive

Hotdog

Chocolate pieces

Peach-Cut in half with pit

Apple Core

1 slice bread

 

Directions

So, think of this like a giant sandwich with a lot less bread. Start with a base of Swiss cheese. I used 6 slices. Add a small zucchini and the chocolate snack cake. A piece of rolled up roast beef could work here too. Place the egg near here too. Top with a slice of roast beef, Swiss cheese, and a tomato slice. Add a slice of pastrami and a piece of the watermelon wedge. Top with another tomato slice, some lettuce, and more zucchini or some green olive. Add a slice of bread. Top that with the fish, piece of the wedge cheese, and more pastrami. Sprinkle some bit of green olive and hotdog here. Add another piece of the wedge cheese and the apple core. Top with a slice of Swiss cheese. Add a rolled up piece of roast beef. Add another slice of tomato, another chunk of cheese, and the peach half. Top with some popcorn.

Around the bottom of the stack, place the chocolate and vanilla wafer cookies and some popcorn. Start spreading out from there and add the snack cake, cheese, black olive, pieces of chocolate, another tomato slice, and other miscellaneous. The food pile is quite a balancing act, so add anything else you can think of to stabilize it. Have fun with it and don’t worry if it falls. (Mine fell twice before I got a picture, so it’s extra funky.) These foods are supposed to be leftovers so bite and rip into whatever you want to give them that feel. Once you’re happy, dig in!

Charlotte Web SmorgasbordCharlotte's Web Smorgasbord

All the food that Templeton eats at the fair has been “seasoned” by the passage of time and the heat of the day. It may be yummy for him but it would make anyone else sick, so I’ll stick with the fresh stuff, thank you. (Even the apple core is fresh, but I’m not really going to eat that.) Yeah, it’s kind of weird and kind of messy, but it is really fun. You can pick it apart and have meat and cheese, a sandwich, fruit, dessert, and whatever. Or you can just kind of go for it and eat it all together. Either way, it’ll leave you as full as Templeton. He needs to sleep all that off so his fun at the fair is over, but Wilbur’s is just is getting started. He doesn’t win first prize, but he’s honored for being Some Terrific Radiant Humble Pig and Zuckerman promises to let Wilbur live to a ripe old age. When Wilbur returns to Charlotte and asks her why she did all of this for him, she says it’s because he’s been her friend. She really was in a class by herself. “It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.”

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Steven Universe

Episode: Together Breakfast
Even More Together Breakfast

I’d like to say that I’ve been a fan of Steven Universe since the show started, but then I’d be lying. Actually, I was quite late to the party. I was having trouble adjusting to newer shows, so I didn’t even give Steven a chance. But it’s not right for me to say I don’t like a show if I haven’t tried it, so I watched one episode. Then one more. And another and another and now here I am all caught up with everyone else. I felt so silly for thinking that the show had nothing to offer me because it has something for everyone. It’s weird and silly but serious and action-packed. Plus the characters are all so different, be it personalities, abilities, sizes, shapes, colors, whatever. And the amount of heart this show has surprised me. I love Steven’s relationship with the Gems and after I watched “Together Breakfast,” I knew I was hooked on the show.

The episode, just like the title food, is fun and sweet. Steven wakes up to an empty house and starts making breakfast. He’s got four toaster waffles with syrup. (Okay.) When he finds that the Gems still aren’t home, he adds some microwave popcorn. (Interesting.) The house is still empty. What does Steven do? He adds some whipped cream. (Now it’s out of control!) But wait, there’s more! He tops it all off with a strawberry. Now Steven comes to the conclusion that this is too good to be eaten alone. This is a “Together Breakfast” which should be eaten with the Gems like best buds. But when the Gems return, Steven’s breakfast gets turned down and ignored. Not letting that deter him, Steven follows Pearl into her room in the hopes of getting everyone together before his Together Breakfast becomes Together Brunch. This leads to him getting caught up in a waterfall, being chased by Amethyst, and sliding down to the bottom of the Crystal Temple. And just when everyone is together, they have to fight a smoke monster that takes refuge in the Together Breakfast. (“Now it has all the power of a breakfast. We have to destroy it.”) After the battle, they make a Together Breakfast that’s even more together and even more breakfast.

Recipe makes one shareable breakfast.

Ingredients

8 toaster waffles

1-2 bags microwave popcorn

Maple syrup

Canned whipped cream

Strawberry

 

Directions

Alright, this one’s easy. Toast the waffles according to the directions on the box. Place the waffles on a plate in two stacks of 4. Drizzle maple syrup over the waffles. Pop popcorn according to the instructions on the box/bag. Dump as much popcorn as you desire over the sticky waffles. Top with whipped cream and a strawberry. Now you can finally eat!

Steven Universe Together BreakfastSteven Universe More Together Bfst

Okay, so Steven and the Gems decide not to eat the Together Breakfast after all. (“Pizza’s a better idea.”) The Together Breakfast looks great! How can they pass that up? Well, it did try to kill them, so I guess I understand. But I live for food like this so whether I had to fight it or not, I’m eating it. Seeing Steven build the original Together Breakfast made me smile because I’ve been in his sandals and done the similar things. Just not with waffles and popcorn. Too bad the idea of eating the Together Breakfast is now ruined for Steven and the Gems because it’s even more fun to eat than it is to make. But it still brings them together, so it’s not a complete waste.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Captain Planet and the Planeteers

Episode: Mind Pollution
Blintzes

“I’m your powers magnified. Haven’t you heard the song? ‘Captain Planet, he’s our hero…’” Isn’t Captain Planet just the greatest superhero? He sings his own theme song! And when he’s not singing or quoting, he’s making some bad joke or pun. (He’d fit in just fine at my house.) But the greatest thing about Captain Planet is that he’s a hero for Earth, which honestly needs all the help it can get. With the invaluable aid of the Planeteers, Eco-Villains are thwarted, animals are saved, pollution is stopped, and people are educated. Yes, this is an educational show. And it’s a darn good one because it inspired me to be part of the solution and not the pollution.

When I watch Captain Planet and the Planeteers, I get so angry at the stupid Eco-Villains that I just want to reach in my TV and start smacking them around. They cheat, kill, destroy, and pollute just to satisfy their own greed and cause trouble. And it’s not just the environment that’s in danger. People get hurt too, especially when Verminous Skumm is out causing the most insidious kind of pollution by dealing drugs. Linka’s cousin Boris becomes hopelessly addicted to Skumm’s drug, Bliss, and puts her in danger in order to get more. Linka’s too smart to do drugs, but she’s in a world of trouble when Boris slips Bliss into some blintzes and she eats one.

Recipe makes about 10 filled blintzes.

Ingredients

Filling:

2 pounds ground beef

2 medium onions, finely chopped

2 teaspoons parsley flakes

1 ½ teaspoons salt

½ teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons olive oil

 

Blintzes:

2 large eggs, room temperature

2 cups milk, room temperature

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 tablespoon sugar

¼ teaspoon salt

1 ¾ cups flour

Oil or Nonstick Cooking Spray

Butter

 

Directions

Filling:

Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and cook until softened, about 4 minutes. Add the ground beef, salt, pepper, and parsley and cook until meat is browned. Stir occasionally while browning to break up the meat. Remove from heat and set aside.

Blintzes:

In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, oil, sugar, and salt. Gradually whisk in the flour and continue whisking until the mixture is smooth and has the consistency of heavy cream.

Place a crepe pan or 10-inch nonstick pan over medium-high heat. Once hot, add a little bit of oil. Pour 1/3 cup of batter in, tilting the pan to evenly spread it. When the edge of the blintz begins to brown and curl, flip it over using a thin spatula or your fingers if you’re careful. Cook for another 20-30 seconds and set it on a plate with a bit of butter on it so it doesn’t stick. Top the blintz with a bit more butter so the next one won’t stick to it. Repeat the process with the remaining batter.

Putting It All Together:

Place about ¼ cup of filling slightly off from the middle of a blintz and spread out into a cylinder shape. Fold in the top and bottom sides and roll up the blintz. Repeat with the other blintzes. Now you can enjoy a tasty, 100% Bliss-Free blintz!

Variations:
After folding the blintzes, you can heat some oil in a pan over medium heat and brown the blintzes on both sides. Blintzes can be filled with anything you want. I just assumed it was ground beef because people have compared the blintz to a burrito. If you don’t want the large burrito shape, you can place the filling in the middle, bring the left and right sides completely over the filling, and roll up the blintz from the top. This shape doesn’t need as much filling, so you should be able to cut the filling recipe in half.

captainplanetblintzCaptain Planet Blintz (2)

This episode sticks out in my mind for a few reasons. Yes, the blintz is one of them, but the main reason is because this episode gets downright scary. The Planeteers are in the middle of a zombie siege. Boris breaks through a window and cuts his arms badly and bleeds everywhere. Then Boris…he…you know. And I wasn’t expecting that! This show has shocked me a few times, but that was the biggest. There are real dangers out there, so I’m proud of this show for not sugar-coating anything. We may not have those specific Eco-Villains around, but our world is in peril. I wasn’t given a magic ring, but I can still help protect the Earth. I’m a Planeteer and you can be one too! Remember, “THE POWER IS YOURS!”

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Tom and Jerry: The Movie

Éclair

I like Tom and Jerry: The Movie. There, I said it. I watched this movie all the time when I was a kid. I can still remember the exact spot where it sat at the video store. And that’s because I love Tom and Jerry. (Who doesn’t love Tom and Jerry?) And it was fun for me seeing them break from the norm and talk and work together. (Which looking at it now, okay, I can see why everyone gets so cheesed off.) But I still enjoy Tom and Jerry getting thrown into a very not-so-Tom and Jerry story. There’s a little runaway “orphan” girl, an evil “aunt” and lawyer, an animal-napper, a strange carnival guy with a hand puppet, and a seriously fat doggy on a skateboard. (I’m going to come clean right here and admit that Ferdinand has always been my favorite.) These sound like the ingredients for a nice, adventurey movie. Throw in some corny song and dance numbers and we’re all set. Oh, and some food would be nice.

Aunt Figg is a horrible, rotten person, but I have to give the lady credit for surrounding herself with food. (That’s what I’d do with all my money.) It seems like she always has cupcakes nearby and her kitchen is filled with all kinds of treats. (I can see how Ferdinand got so tubby.) Despite there being such a vast amount of delectables in the house, when Tom and Jerry come to stay with them, the “something special” they’re given is a scary, dripping bowl of who knows what. But out of all the food in the movie, the one that calls to me the most is an éclair. There’s just always been something about the scene where Aunt Figg is scheming with Lickboot over the phone and she squeezes an éclair to death.

Recipe makes about 7 éclairs.

Ingredients

Filling:

2 cups whole milk

4 egg yolks, room temperature

½ cup sugar

¼ cup cornstarch

Pinch of Salt

4 tablespoons butter, room temperature, and cut into chunks

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks

 

Pastry

1 cup water

½ cup (1 stick) butter, room temperature, and cut into chunks

1 teaspoon sugar

½ teaspoon salt

1 cup flour, sifted

4 eggs, room temperature, beaten

 

Ganache Topping

8 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped

1 cup heavy cream

 

Directions

Filling:

In a medium bowl, whisk together egg yolks, sugar, cornstarch, and salt.

In a medium saucepan, heat the milk until it simmers. While whisking constantly, pour a little of the hot milk into the egg mixture. Slowly pour in the rest of the milk, whisking constantly. When the milk and egg mixture are fully combined, pour this mixture back into the saucepan.

Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture thickens and just comes to a boil. Pour the cream through a mesh strainer into a bowl. Stir in the butter and vanilla. Cover with plastic wrap, letting it touch the surface so the pastry cream won’t form a skin. Place in the refrigerator and chill completely, at least 2 hours. Fold the whipped cream into the pastry cream.

Pastry:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

In a medium saucepan, combine water, butter, sugar, and salt. Cook over medium heat until the butter is completely melted. As soon as the mixture comes to a boil, remove the pan from the heat and add all the flour at once. Stir until the flour is completely incorporated. Return the pan to the heat and cook for about 2 minutes, stirring constantly. When the dough comes together in a ball, remove from heat and cool slightly. (Enough so the eggs won’t cook when added.) Move the dough to a bowl or stand mixer. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. The dough should be smooth and paste-like and shouldn’t cling to a beater or spoon when lightly shaken.

Transfer the dough to a pastry bag fitted with a large round tip (3/4-1 inch). Pipe 6-inch lengths of dough onto a greased baking sheet sprinkled with just a little water, leaving plenty of room in between them. Bake for 10 minutes. Reduce the heat to 375 degrees F. and bake for 30 minutes. (Don’t open the door.) Remove the tray from the oven and make a small hole in the end of each éclair to allow steam to escape. Bake an additional 5 minutes, or until the éclairs are crispy and golden. Remove the éclairs from the oven and place on a wire rack to cool completely.

Ganache Topping:

Place chocolate in a medium bowl. In a small saucepan, heat the heavy cream over medium heat until it just begins to boil. Pour the heavy cream over the chocolate and let sit for 5 minutes. Stir until the chocolate mixture is smooth. Cool slightly.

Putting It All Together:

Split each éclair in half lengthwise. Pipe or spoon filling into the bottom half of the éclairs. Dip the tops in the ganache. Close the éclairs and let the ganache set before serving. Enjoy!

Tom and Jerry MovieTom&Jerry Movie

Now I really feel like a million dollars here with my éclair. Yes, I’m trying my best to squeeze money talk in here somewhere. But hey, a delicious, fancy éclair definitely beats chunky tuna from a trashcan. (That stuff is green!) At least Tom and Jerry don’t have to worry anymore about eating off the streets because of bad owners. (What’s up with that? And Puggsy’s family too! There’s a greater chance of me getting left behind during a move than one of our pets.) Actually, Tom and Jerry don’t have to worry about anything anymore, which leaves them plenty of time to do what they do best: play cat and mouse games.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

A Troll in Central Park

Salad

I have no idea what I did to Gnorga, but I somehow ended up on her bad side. Not bad enough for me to be turned to stone, but for the last few months, I lived in a place of rock and steel where nothing grew. (And I wasn’t even in New York City.) Oh wait. I wasn’t feeling the wrath of the “Queen of Mean.” That was winter. But now spring is here and my little patch of green has returned. I could use some more flowers though. This wouldn’t be a problem if I had Stanley’s green thumb and I could grow some with a snap. Unfortunately, my thumb’s a little more like Gnorga’s black thumb. It won’t turn things to stone, but it’s still very dangerous. (I’m not too good with plants.) And even if I were to successfully grow a flower, it wouldn’t be a magical talking, dancing one. (Yes, I want magical dancing flowers. Did you see how happy they make Rosie?) Maybe I’m just not believing in myself enough. Or maybe I’m better off leaving the plant growing to the professionals and should just stick to eating them.

No, no, no, I don’t want to eat any of Stanley’s flowers! But I am talking about eating some greens. You see, things don’t go too well for Stanley at the beginning. He gets banished for growing flowers and is flung all the way to New York. Sure, he’s happy to see that there was some mistake and he isn’t in a land without grass, leaves, and flowers, but taking in this new world isn’t the easiest for the gentle, little troll. He gets chased by ferocious dogs and bumps into a really angry squirrel. Then he falls from a tree over a restaurant and lands straight in a large salad. He wanted green, he got it. But he finds himself in a tight spot when the salad gets dressed and served to a very hungry customer. And when the man digs in, it’s a pain in the butt for Stanley, literally. He screams and runs off and, after more trouble, finds himself a hole under a bridge. So his punishment is off to a rough start, but it’s not supposed to be nice. “It’s supposed to be punishing!”

Recipe makes one very large salad.

Ingredients

2 hearts romaine lettuce, rinsed and left in large pieces

1-2 large tomatoes, sliced into wedges

Black Olives

Freshly Ground Black Pepper

Vinaigrette Or

Vinaigrette

¼ cup white wine vinegar

¾ cup extra virgin olive oil

Pinch of Sugar (Optional)

Salt

White Pepper

Directions

Vinaigrette:

Pour white wine vinegar and olive oil in a mason jar. Tightly secure the lid and shake it vigorously until fully combined, about 10 seconds. Season to taste. (This can also be done in a blender.)

Putting It All Together:

In a large bowl, combine the lettuce, tomatoes, and black olives. Drizzle the vinaigrette over the salad. Add freshly ground pepper. Toss the salad and serve individual portions. Enjoy!

Variations:
Obviously, smaller sized pieces of lettuce are much easier to eat than the large leaves.
For a more stable and flavorful vinaigrette, add 2 teaspoons of Dijon mustard. You can also opt for black pepper if that better suits your taste.

Troll ParkTroll Park Salad

Okay, I really like salads, but I’ve never gotten as excited over one as that guy in the restaurant. (He’s licks his lips and everything.) I kind of feel bad that he doesn’t get to enjoy it. I feel even worse for Stanley for being a part of it. But without all of his scary encounters, he wouldn’t have ended up in the right place to meet Rosie and Gus. Sure, they lead to even more trouble, but when everything’s said and done, Stanley manages to create a world that’s bright and shiny and absolutely green.

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Feed the Kitty

Kitty Cookie

Marc Antony and Pussyfoot are long-time favorites of mine because they’re just so gosh darn cute together. No matter what names they go by, seeing the big bulldog dote on that tiny kitten has always made me smile. And no cartoon of theirs makes me happier than “Feed the Kitty.” Marc Anthony tries to act like tough stuff and bark at Pussyfoot, but she just curls up on his back. And despite all the kneading she does to get comfortable, he can’t help but like her. (Yeah, this is starting to sound a whole lot like my kitty and me.) However, unlike Marc Anthony, I don’t have the problem where I’m constantly bringing stuff home. His owner is finally fed up with all of his mess and tells him not to bring one more thing into their house. Now I’m just guessing that Marc Anthony would be reasonable about this order under normal circumstances, but he did just bring a kitten into the house. A kitten who doesn’t like to stay put. Every time Pussyfoot crosses paths with his owner, Marc Anthony pretends that the kitten is just a toy or a powder puff and gets more and more desperate to keep her a secret.

Now here’s where it gets really good. Marc Anthony hides Pussyfoot in the flour drawer just before his owner comes into the kitchen to make cookies. She unknowingly scoops up the kitten and adds her to the bowl. She proceeds to make the cookie dough while Marc Anthony tries his best to rescue Pussyfoot. Fearing the kitten’s fate if she meets with the stand mixer, Marc Anthony’s last-ditch effort is to spray whipped cream all over his face and pretend he’s rabid. His owner has been putting up with his crazy antics all day, but wasting her whipped cream was the last straw and she throws him outside. Pussyfoot gets out of the bowl unharmed, but poor Marc Anthony doesn’t know that. He watches in horror as his owner beats the dough, rolls it out, cuts it, and places the cookies in the oven, thinking his precious kitty is in there. He can’t take it and cries himself a puddle. And then when his owner lets him back inside, she gives him a cookie shaped like a cat!

Recipe makes about 20 cookies (Depending on size.)

Ingredients

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, room temperature

1 cup sugar

1 large egg

¼ cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

3 cups flour

Candy (Blue Jelly Beans, M&M’s, etc.) or frosting for eyes

 

Directions

In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, and salt.

In a stand mixer, beat butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2-3 minutes. Beat in the egg and vanilla extract. Add the milk. Slowly add the dry ingredients and mix until combined. Divide the dough in two and flatten each half into a disk. Cover each disk with plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. (I know Marc Anthony’s owner rolls her dough out right away, and I may have been able to get away with it, but I feel better letting it chill.)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Lightly dust a counter with flour and roll out a disk to ¼-inch thickness. Cut out shapes with a kitty cookie cutter or make a stencil and cut out with a paring knife. Marc Anthony’s owner used a variety of cookie cutters, so you don’t have to just stick with kitties. Re-roll and cut until you run out of dough and continue this process with the other disk.

Place cookies in the oven and bake, rotating trays halfway through, until the cookies have browned slightly, 10-15 minutes. Let the cookies rest on the baking sheets for 2 minutes. While the cookies are still warm and soft, press candy into them to make eyes for the kitties. If you want to draw eyes on with frosting, make sure the cookies have fully cooled. Transfer the cookies to a wire rack and allow them to cool completely. Enjoy!

FeedTheKittyFeedTheKittyCookie

Oh, I can’t handle Marc Anthony’s face! And instead of eating the kitty cookie, he puts it on his back. But there’s no sad ending for the sweet, furry pair. Pussyfoot shows up and Marc Anthony is ecstatic. And busted. Luckily, Marc Anthony’s owner allows him to keep the kitten, but he’s got to take care of her. I don’t know what’s more incredible: Marc Anthony’s owner allowing him to care entirely for a kitten, or Marc Anthony actually being responsible enough to do so. That could never happen in my house. The only cat my dogs would take care of is one made of cookie. (And we all know how that would end.)

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Very Aggressive Vegetables

Short: Baby Corn
Baby Corn in Butter Sauce

My sister brought home a very large can of baby corn the other day and we got all sorts of excited because we are baby corn junkies. We had big plans for that can. (Yes, those big plans really were to open the can and eat as much baby corn as we possibly could.) And no matter how many times we eat the stuff, we always bring up the same topics. My sister always says that she wants to see baby corn harvested and I always talk about how aggressive they are. Mmm hmm, baby corn. It’s a very aggressive vegetable. They’ve never done me any wrong, but that’s because I don’t give them the opportunity. I’ve watched the Very Aggressive Vegetables shorts on Nicktoons enough to know veggies’ true natures. Sure, they sit there all quiet and unassuming, but when some kid says or does something to offend those vegetables, the produce is ready to come at them!

Broccoli, Celery, A Not-So-Sweet Potato, Cucumber, and Zucchini are all pretty hostile, but the angry, little Baby Corn is what’s really stuck with me all these years. He can tolerate being stabbed, having his face rubbed in sauce, and getting splattered against a wall, but it’s when the baby corn’s taste is insulted that he takes action. And when you insult one’s taste, you’ve insulted all baby corn, so the aggressive baby corn calls for all his little baby corn friends to rise up and attack the bratty little girl. All they want is to be appreciated. I think I can do that.

Recipe makes 1 serving.

Ingredients

4 ounces baby corn

3 tablespoons butter

¼ cup water

½ teaspoon cornstarch

Salt and Pepper

 

Directions

Combine water and cornstarch in a small bowl and stir until the cornstarch has dissolved. Set aside.

Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add the baby corn and salt and pepper. Gradually whisk in the water. Simmer, stirring frequently, until the sauce thickens and the baby corn is heated through, about 5 minutes.

Remove from heat and serve with unidentifiable green stuff/greens of your choice. Enjoy, or else!

VeryAggVeg BbyCrnVery Ag Veg Baby Corn

I don’t want to say that the little girl deserves the wrath of the baby corn, but come on, she deserves it. Yelling and throwing food just because it tastes off. And it’s just baby corn. It’s not like it’s…well I better not give an example. Who knows? Whatever I suggest may turn out to be quite aggressive as well. I don’t want to get anyone mad, so if there’s anything I’ve learned from these shorts, it’s to just sit here and eat all my vegetables.

 

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!