1990’s | CARTOON CRAVINGS

Mulan

Posted on September 10, 2015 by cartooncravings

Porridge

I know I’m opening the floodgates when I mention the “D word,” but I’ve been dying to start covering Disney movies. Naturally, I was raised on them and this lucky little person got to experience the Disney Renaissance first hand. The movie previews alone were enough to completely blow me away and then came the toy and food promotions. By the time opening night rolled around, I was a big bundle of nerves and excitement. One of these beautiful films carved into my memory is Mulan. It’s one of my go-to movies and has traveled by my side on just about every family vacation since its home video release. Hardly a day goes by where I don’t bust out a quote or a bit of song from this movie. It’s been like that since the days when my cousin and I would lock ourselves in her room and sing and dance to the soundtrack in our Mulan garb. (She had one wrap-around costume that we’d take turns wearing.) When that was no longer enough, my grandma whipped up the perfect Halloween costume for me that I’d still wear today if I could fit in it. You don’t meet a movie like that every dynasty, so it’s only natural that it would become a part of my life.

No, I don’t see myself defeating Shan Yu and saving China, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be Mulan in my own right. Whether I’m off to destroy people or just heading into work, the best way to start my morning is with a nice breakfast. And one that’s happy to see me to boot. Okay, so rice porridge can be pretty simple, but it’s delicious and comforting and I’d smile right back at it if I ate a big bowl of it every day.

Recipe makes 6 one-cup servings.

Ingredients

3 cups water

6 cups chicken broth

1 cup rice, rinsed

1 clove garlic, minced

¼ of an onion, minced

¼ ounce piece of peeled fresh ginger

Salt and white pepper to taste

Soy sauce to taste (Optional)

Each serving will need:

2 large eggs

1 slice of bacon

1 tablespoon olive oil

Salt and white pepper

Directions

In a large pot, combine water, chicken broth, rice, garlic, onion, and ginger. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 1-1 ½ hours, stirring occasionally. You want a creamy, oatmeal-like consistency. If it gets too thick, you can add more water or broth. If it’s too thin, allow it to cook longer. Remove ginger piece. Season with salt, white pepper, and soy sauce.

Place a frying pan on medium to low heat. Coat the pan with olive oil. Crack eggs directly into pan and cook until the tops of the whites are set and the yolk is still runny. If the eggs start changing color, turn down the heat. Remove from pan with a spatula and season with salt and white pepper.

Place bacon in a cold pan and set heat to low. When bacon begins to curl, flip it to the other side. This can take about 7 minutes. Continue to cook, flipping it over every few minutes, until it’s browned and almost at your desired crispiness. The bacon will continue to cook after it’s removed from the pan. Drain excess grease by setting the bacon on a plate covered with paper towels.

Putting It All Together:

Scoop out a cup of porridge into a bowl. Place two eggs on top for eyes and add a bacon smile. Grab yourself a pair of chopsticks or a spoon and dig in!

My family is the most important thing to me and I’d do anything for them. That’s why I made enough rice porridge to serve my entire household. I find it a little safer than stealing my father’s armor, running away from home, and impersonating a soldier. Mulan already has that covered, so I’ll just let my heart show me the way to my own greatness, or maybe just a second helping of porridge.

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

The Angry Beavers

Posted on August 27, 2015 by cartooncravings

Episode: Deranged Ranger

Jalapeño Bundt Cake

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that angry beavers are probably my spirit animals. (Get it? Limb. You know, trees?) Sorry about that. Anyhoo, those pointy weasel things do indeed lead a life not too different from mine. Norbert and Daggett are supposed to be responsible and basically adult-like, but they spend most of their time playing with toys, eating junk food, and staying up all night watching TV. Yep, same here. We can’t help it. We’re all just big kids. Oh, and in case you’re curious, I’m the Daggett Doofus Beaver of my house. I’m a big, klutzy, daddy longlegs hating baby who breaks things. My Norby Worby just so happens to be my little sister. She acts much older than I do and she’s crazy about hair and music. Also, she may have on occasion tricked me into doing things for her. All we need is a bunk bed and some Lickety-Splits and we’re the beaver dream team.

There’s just one thing we’re missing: jalapeños. The beavers’ food of choice. And what is the best way to wolf down those little peppers? By baking a jalapeño Bundt cake! With all the junk those boys scarf down, this cake has got to be the granddaddy of it all if Dag says it’s his favorite.

Ingredients

Cake:

1 cup (4 large) jalapeños, plus any extras for garnishing

1 tablespoon butter

1 ½ cups (3 sticks) butter, room temperature

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, room temperature

3 cups sugar

6 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 cups sifted cake flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

½ tsp baking soda

Glaze

3 tablespoons butter

2 cups sifted powdered sugar

2 tablespoons milk

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

Green food coloring

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a Bundt cake pan

Cake:

Cut jalapeños, clean out seeds and ribs, and finely chop. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a medium saucepan on medium heat. Cook down jalapenos until soft, about 10 minutes. Set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, combine cake flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda.

In a stand mixer, beat butter and cream cheese together. Add sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Add vanilla. Add dry ingredients in three additions, scraping down the sides of the bowl after each. Mix until just combined. Pour batter into greased Bundt cake pan. Smooth out and gently tap pan on counter to remove any air pockets. Bake for 60-75 minutes or until golden and a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool in pan for 15 minutes. Remove cake and let cool completely.

Glaze:

Melt butter in a saucepan or microwave. Add powdered sugar a little at a time. Mix in milk and vanilla. Add a little green food coloring. Adjust thickness to your liking. If it’s too thick, add more milk. If it turns out too thin, add more powdered sugar.

Putting It All Together:

Pour glaze over cooled cake. Place jalapeños on top to make it look pretty. Cut, serve, and enjoy!

I guess there’s another thing I have in common with Dag. I love this cake! It would completely break my heart (and my teeth) if I tried to eat a giant jalapeño Bundt cake only to find out it’s made of cement. Well, I can’t say the same for my beaver brethren (Norb splattered batter on Dag’s booty in Mistaken Identity), but this cake will at least keep the two of us out of trouble. For now.

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Posted on August 21, 2015 by cartooncravings

Episode: King of Flan

Flantasy Flan

Whenever my parents would ask us kids where we’d like to go on vacation, we would always say Nowhere. And by that, we always meant Kansas. We didn’t actually want to vacation in Kansas, but creepy stuff supposedly happens there and we wanted to see it for ourselves. Our request was always shot down, but at least we could watch Courage and see the place through his eyes. Honestly, I’m a huge chicken and probably would’ve cried if I ever came face-to-face with King Ramses or Benton Tarantella. So thank you, Mom and Dad!

While I was safe on my couch, poor, little Courage had to deal with all kinds of horrors on his own. Be it a weremole or an abominable snowman or chickens from outer space. All for Muriel’s sake, but sometimes the scariest thing on the farm is Muriel herself. Like when she and Eustace become violent, thieving flan maniacs after being brainwashed by a Flantasy Flan commercial. The whole brainwashing bit doesn’t sound too bad for a marketing strategy, minus the whole violent, thieving part. “Buy Flantasy Flan.” Catchy. But the self-proclaimed King of Flan didn’t have to hypnotize anyone. Flan is delicious.

Recipe makes 5 flan.

Ingredients

Caramel

½ cup sugar

Custard

¾ cup sugar

3 cups milk

4 large eggs

¼ teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons vanilla

Yellow Food Coloring

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil and place 5 six-ounce ramekins in a deep baking dish or roasting pan.

Caramel

Add ½ cup of sugar to a saucepan on low heat. Without stirring the sugar, let it melt until it turns amber. Remove from heat and quickly pour caramel into each ramekin. Swirl each around to coat bottoms evenly.

Custard

Heat milk and ¼ cup of sugar in a saucepan over medium heat until mixture begins to bubble and steam, about 5 minutes. Do not let the mixture boil.

Whisk together eggs, salt, and remaining ½ cup of sugar in a large mixing bowl. Whisk a small amount (about a ladle) of milk mixture into eggs to temper them. Whisk in 2 to 3 more ladles, one at a time. Now add egg mixture back to the saucepan with the remaining milk mixture and whisk to combine. Strain custard through a sieve into a small bowl or liquid measuring cup. Add vanilla and a small amount of yellow food coloring.

Divide custard among the ramekins and add boiling water to the dish/pan until it reaches halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until custard is set.

Remove the dish/pan from the oven and take ramekins out of the water bath. Let cool until room temperature. Chill for 4 hours. If you’re impatient, at least let them chill for 1 hour. When ready to eat, run a knife around the edge of the ramekin. Place a small plate over the ramekin and invert them. When you lift up the ramekin, the flan should be jiggly and covered in caramelly goodness. Grab a spoon and dig in!

Oops! I’d much rather make my own flan than buy the pre-made stuff. Sorry, King of Flan. You lost one customer, along with all of Nowhere. Oh, well. That’s one less problem for Courage to deal with. That is, until someone or something comes lurking around that farmhouse.

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Animaniacs

Posted on August 13, 2015 by cartooncravings

Episode: Meatballs or Consequences

Swedish Meatballs

My parents were blessed (Or should I say cursed?) with three children, so they’re old pros when it comes to handling the “monkey stuff.” We never terrorized them to the extent that the Warners could’ve, but those kids were definitely our idols. I even told people that the Warners would stay in our town’s “Tin Man” style water tower when they wanted to check up on us. I actually believed it too and would wave to the tower every morning and afternoon.

With my intense love of the Warners, it’s only natural I’d want to eat like them. And what could be better than stuffing yourself with 501 meatballs? Especially in Sweden, the actual home of meatballs and Volvos! Although, Wakko didn’t look like he was having too much fun. Becoming living-impaired does kind of put a damper on things. That and being pushed and insulted by your brother and sister. (“Slopface?”) I totally get it. I’m the middle child too. Still, gorging on meatballs had to be fun until at least meatball number 450. And if the Grim Reaper’s going to get you anyway, I can’t think of a better visual than him rising out of a tub of meatballs.

Recipe makes 34 meatballs. Over 500 is a bit excessive.

Ingredients

Meatballs

1 ½ cups panko

¾ cup milk

3 tablespoons butter

½ an onion, minced or grated

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 pound ground beef

1 pound ground pork

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon black pepper

¼ teaspoon ground allspice

¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

Gravy

¼ cup all-purpose flour

3 cups beef broth

¼ cup heavy cream

Directions

In a small bowl, combine panko and milk and set aside.

Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a large pan. Add onions and garlic and sauté until onions are soft. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a large bowl, combine panko-milk mixture, beef, pork, eggs, onion and garlic, salt, black pepper, allspice, and nutmeg. Mix until just combined. Scoop out meat mixture the size of two tablespoons and place on a baking sheet. If using a scale, each meatball should be about 1.4 ounces. Form meatballs into rounds and chill for an hour to help the balls maintain their shapes while cooking.

Preheat oven to 200 degrees F.

Melt the remaining two tablespoons of butter in a large pan over medium-low heat. Add the meatballs and cook until brown on all sides, about 10-15 minutes. Move the meatballs to an ovenproof dish and place in oven to keep warm.

When all the meatballs are in the oven, reduce the pan’s heat to low. Add the flour and whisk for about a minute or until lightly browned. Gradually whisk in the beef stock and heavy cream until the gravy begins to thicken. Remove the meatballs from the oven and smother with gravy, the dressed up version of meatball grease. Then see how many you can eat without dying! (Please don’t. Let’s just stick with serve and enjoy!)

If I didn’t know better, I would challenge someone to a meatball eating contest. Oh, who am I trying to kid? My sibs and I have been challenging each other to all sorts of contests for years. Just like the Warners, we do consider ourselves like a set of chess pieces from The Franklin Mint. No matter what stupid things we say and do, we’re still family and would do anything for one another. Even face Death himself.

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Posted on July 29, 2015 by cartooncravings

Episode: Nagged to Ed

Kanker Burger

I never met another person with my name until I was in my teens, so I think sharing my name/nickname with my best friends would be pretty exciting. Especially, if you’re a group of friends who hatch crazy schemes and go on silly adventures in a cul-de-sac where an eclectic group of kids reside. And all life as you know it revolves around jawbreakers!! Yeah, that’s the life. My neighborhood didn’t have many kids and it was close to impossible to get to anyone’s house on my own, so I’m a little jealous of the Eds. Well, maybe a lot of jealous.

At least there’s one thing I don’t envy about them. They have a Kanker problem. A big one. No place is safe for the Eds. Whether it’s Club Ed, the creek, or an abandoned house, those girls are there. Even in Jonny’s walls! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Kanker Sisters and they do have a lot of redeeming qualities. They’re tough, funny, and can cook. Kind of. Cheesy, lardy, fish burgers drenched in ketchup don’t sound all too appealing to most people, but I couldn’t pass it up. And you know what? I like them.

Recipe makes 6 burgers

Ingredients

14 ounces of fish sticks – A little more than half a 22oz box.

½ cup of processed cheese – Cheese chub, spread, or Velveeta all work fine.

½ cup pickles with juice

Salt and pepper to taste

Food coloring – Green and a little brown if you want it darker.

Lard – Optional-You can put any amount you want in to the burger or just use some to cook the burgers in.

Ketchup

Hamburger buns

Directions

In a food processor, combine fish sticks, cheese, pickles, lard, salt, and pepper. Add enough food coloring to get the shade of green you want. Be careful not to add too much or you’ll change the consistency of the fish mixture. I like using the gels, so I used just a small blob. Portion out mixture into patties with an ice cream scoop and slightly flatten. Cook in a skillet on medium/medium high heat 2-3 minutes per side or just enough to warm them up and build a crust on each side. Place patties on bottom buns and smother with as much ketchup as you want. Cover with top bun and eat!

Variations: Scoop out more mixture for Kanker-sized burgers. Toast hamburger buns for a little added crunch.

That wasn’t enough to scare you off? Good. I’m glad I left out the gears and stretchy meat stuff. (Not like I knew what that was anyway.) Only the best in processed foods here. Now all that’s left to do is mix yourself a tall glass of powdered milk, pop in Fish Bowl 2 (A classic!), and grab a comfy spot on the couch.

Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!