Episode: Meatballs or Consequences
My parents were blessed (Or should I say cursed?) with three children, so they’re old pros when it comes to handling the “monkey stuff.” We never terrorized them to the extent that the Warners could’ve, but those kids were definitely our idols. I even told people that the Warners would stay in our town’s “Tin Man” style water tower when they wanted to check up on us. I actually believed it too and would wave to the tower every morning and afternoon.
With my intense love of the Warners, it’s only natural I’d want to eat like them. And what could be better than stuffing yourself with 501 meatballs? Especially in Sweden, the actual home of meatballs and Volvos! Although, Wakko didn’t look like he was having too much fun. Becoming living-impaired does kind of put a damper on things. That and being pushed and insulted by your brother and sister. (“Slopface?”) I totally get it. I’m the middle child too. Still, gorging on meatballs had to be fun until at least meatball number 450. And if the Grim Reaper’s going to get you anyway, I can’t think of a better visual than him rising out of a tub of meatballs.
Recipe makes 34 meatballs. Over 500 is a bit excessive.
1 ½ cups panko
¾ cup milk
3 tablespoons butter
½ an onion, minced or grated
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground pork
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon ground allspice
¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
¼ cup all-purpose flour
3 cups beef broth
¼ cup heavy cream
In a small bowl, combine panko and milk and set aside.
Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a large pan. Add onions and garlic and sauté until onions are soft. Remove from heat and set aside.
In a large bowl, combine panko-milk mixture, beef, pork, eggs, onion and garlic, salt, black pepper, allspice, and nutmeg. Mix until just combined. Scoop out meat mixture the size of two tablespoons and place on a baking sheet. If using a scale, each meatball should be about 1.4 ounces. Form meatballs into rounds and chill for an hour to help the balls maintain their shapes while cooking.
Preheat oven to 200 degrees F.
Melt the remaining two tablespoons of butter in a large pan over medium-low heat. Add the meatballs and cook until brown on all sides, about 10-15 minutes. Move the meatballs to an ovenproof dish and place in oven to keep warm.
When all the meatballs are in the oven, reduce the pan’s heat to low. Add the flour and whisk for about a minute or until lightly browned. Gradually whisk in the beef stock and heavy cream until the gravy begins to thicken. Remove the meatballs from the oven and smother with gravy, the dressed up version of meatball grease. Then see how many you can eat without dying! (Please don’t. Let’s just stick with serve and enjoy!)
If I didn’t know better, I would challenge someone to a meatball eating contest. Oh, who am I trying to kid? My sibs and I have been challenging each other to all sorts of contests for years. Just like the Warners, we do consider ourselves like a set of chess pieces from The Franklin Mint. No matter what stupid things we say and do, we’re still family and would do anything for one another. Even face Death himself.
Tune in next week for more Cartoon Cravings!